Love At The Six Month Mark

This past weekend was a small milestone in my life. It marked 6 months that Chris and I have been together as a couple. I am very pleased with the progress we have made and, frankly, it seems like the time has flown by.

I will take it as a good sign that, in the six months we've been a couple, there was only one brief moment when Chris and I we harsh with one another, and I believe it was negative influence from his parents that made him act out at that moment. Before and since that time, he's been wonderful and we simply don't argue. He isn't my yes man and he knows how to call me on my shit, but the way we handle such things is through humor.

Even after 6 months, we still talk on the phone every day, usually for about 1 to 2 hours at a stretch. It's given us both the chance to open up and talk about how we feel and what is bugging us. This is important for us both. Chris is just in the early stages of accepting his orientation, and I frankly need to be reminded that not EVERY man in the world is an ass. Some of (make that MOST of) the men I've been with since coming to grips with my sexual orientation, have been takers, users, cheaters and, worst of all, liars when dealing with me. After the cheating and lies of Scott, and Corey, and ESPECIALLY the MISERABLE lying and attempts at deception by Rob J. R. (my previous, smarmy, ex-lawyer, boyfriend who has a special place in hell reserved for him and his lying, hateful kind, well…I'm just not sure I was all that ready to believe that a decent man existed out there for me. After all, in my near 50 years, I'd never hit anyone out of anger, but the mere SIGHT of Rob J. R. has brought out the worst in me. I will tell you honestly that I decked him 3 times in the few months we were together and I'd DO IT AGAIN, if he acts like that in my presence. He is a filthy example of all that is wrong with gay men….ESPECIALLY pompous, arrogant, DECEITFUL asshole-type gay men. Thankfully, the police stepped in an imposed a no-contact order and I'm FINALLY able to get that lying prick out of my life at last. He still hasn't paid me the money I loaned him, and I'd be surprised if he ever does. People like him are long on promises and short on actions. If I ever do get the money, I'll be surprised. His kind isn't known for promises kept.

Anyway, enter Chris. Younger than me, to be sure, but I didn't seek him out. In fact, I was perfectly satisfied with life as a single, celibate man. Still, when you find a diamond, you hold it close and treasure it. So it was with Chris. He asked if we could be a couple and I consented and I've been very happy about it.

It's funny. When he's around, I feel good. I feel happy. I feel light. Most of all, I feel truly loved. When those feelings are there, there is reason to treasure the relationship. I treasure the relationship. I believe that, judging by his ACTIONS, Chris does as well.

That's not to say that there are not moments when we deal with some real negative issues. Chris's family is a powerful negative influence on his sense of self-esteem and it's enough to make me want to grab them all by the neck and shake them to wake them up and make them see the damage that they are doing with their negative words and attitudes. In the 6 months Chris and I've been together, only his father, (a former Marine like myself), has enough guts to come and meet me. In fact, we have been out to dinner with his Dad 2 times. He's a good man who I believe would be even MORE supportive of Chris and the relationship Chris and I share; IF Chris's mom would lighten up on her "fire and brimstone" attitude towards gay people.

I personally believe there is a "higher power" at work, but I don't follow or believe in Christianity, although I believe JESUS was a wonderful and admirable rabbi who offered the world a wealth if wisdom. Problem is, people like Chris's mom IGNORE the teachings and message of Jesus' teachings, and instead, use the "spoon-fed dogma" of the church to pick and choose bible verses that support their hateful nonsense. The Nazis' did it. The Salem Witch tribunal did it. The Westboro Baptist Church does it, and hey, I guess if it's good enough for the pope and for that disgusting Rev. Fred Phelps and his ignorant, band of redneck peckerwoods, then its good enough for Chris's Mom.

I support Chris. I respect his father. His mother garners no respect from me and I find her silly and amazingly ignorant and childish. His sisters? Well, the jury is still out, but the older of the two apparently fears me and refuses to meet me and the other one (Mary), offered to meet me, and then backed out moments before meeting the first time. The second time, we didn't give her the chance. We simply had lunch at the restaurant where she works and made it a point to NOT call ahead that time. She was cool, but polite. (Shot daggers with her eyes, but they don't work on me.) We behaved properly in the restaurant and even left a nice tip for her, despite the daggers she fired. I found out a few weeks later that she'd complained about our visit later. Amazing how homophobes are SO vocal when you're out of earshot. ;)

My own family loves Chris. My sisters yak it up with him, as does my father. I know it makes me feel good to see Chris's face when he's around my family. It's like he can't believe people would know he's gay and still be nice to him. Believe it, Chris. The rest of the world isn't like those you have known as family. There are homophobes in the world, to be sure, but the haters are outnumbered. Good people outnumber the jerks.

All in all, I'd give this relationship an A grade at the six-month mark. That is cause of joy in my heart. Chris seems happy too. That's good enough for me.

Wish us luck. J

-Shawn