At around 4:55am on the morning of November 14th, 2006, the woman whom I have known and loved all my life...my mother...passed away. This is a tough time for me. It is a tough time for my family. It would be for anyone who lost a dearly loved mother. I have cried a little, but for the most part, I know that the bulk of the tears still lay ahead of me. I feel so badly for my dear Father. Dad and Mom celebrated 53 years of marriage just this past September. For my father who worked so tirelessly and so hard all these year, my mother was his salvation. She took care of the budget and bill paying and all the legal and financial affairs for the two of them. He seemed so lost today when I visited with him. He loved her dearly and even when they fought, he never crossed the line ...he'd just grumble under his breath and find something to do while the air cleared. She was organized to the point of being anally retentive, but in the end...when it was most needed...when we were all stunned at her passing and not knowing what to do next, Mom had not only managed to pre-plan her funeral arrangements, but had pre-paid for them as well. She left detailed notes specifying her last wishes..right down to who gets what ring and who gets what watch and so on. It was amazing. My mother, whom we always teased for being SO darned organized,..who went away for a weekend once and left me an 8 page, double sided letter that spelled out EXACTLY when and how much to feed her CAT,...this woman for whom the POST-IT notes were invented....well..she managed to use that organization in such a loving way what I was, frankly, stunned by her thoughtfulness. At a time when our eyes were all welling with tears at her passing and our hearts numbed with shock, her organized, methodical approach to these final detailed wishes, proved once more what a loving a wonderful soul Mom was. In her wisdom, she foresaw how deeply we would be devastated and she did what she's always lovingly done...she stepped in and handled the hard details....did the planning and the legwork, thereby allowing us to grieve her passing without undue confusion and heartache. Five hours after her passing, when met with the Funeral director and in about an hour all was handled. One more stop at the florist 30 minutes later, and the family's planning was , for the most part, finished. Mom was a spiritual soul, but she had little use for "organized religion",...and I share that trait with her. Her personal code of eithics was to live simply, live honestly, and always be compassionate and "do unto others". She felt that doing these things went a lot further to living as her Creator wished, as opposed to her observation that so many people lived a dishonest, mean-spirited, selfish existence 6 days a week , then crowded in to a church on Sunday to "make things right". Her theory, and my own as well, was to try hard all 7 days a week to live a good and upright life, then there's less to apologize for later. Bravo Mom! I couldn't have said it better myself. I also got my love of animals from Mom. You all can see and read about my 2 wonderful dogs. They are my dearest 4-legged friends...and rank right up there with my friend Mikey as my truest and dearest friends. I got this from her. Mom loved animals. She loved and respected life...and her compassion for animals was the stuff of family legend. I recall as a small child riding in the car with Mom and my brothers and sisters and we were in a bit of a hurry. As we drove down a winding stretch of country road, a chimpmunk, as they often do, darted out in front of our old stations wagon. Mom, horrified that she might hit the poor creature, swerved and braked and tried her best to miss the little guy. It was all for not. We all hear that sickening little "thud" as the tire and the chimpunk came into contact with one another. Now virtually nobody ever stops usually when this happens. Most people would make a face, groan in disgust or horror, then continue on their way. Mom was most definitely NOT most people. She stops the car and tells all of us in the car to stay where we were, and she then gets out and walks back to find the chipmunk. The chipmunk was mortally wounded and had expired. Mom comes back to the car, rummages around until she found a small paper bag. She picked up the poor, dead chipmunk and place him in the bag , then walked a few steps off the roadway to where the gravel was not hard packed and, with the use of a stick and her bare hands, she hollowed out a tiny shallow grave, into which she placed the bagged up chipmunk. With tears streaming down her cheeks, she gingerly covered the tiny bagged, chipmunks body. She then got back in the car and , wiping her eyes, she continued on her way driving us to wherever we were going in such a hurry. Over the years, that story came up on more than one family gathering...and has been passed down to all her grandchildren now. We all laughed at her tender hearted chipmunk funeral, but in reality, that even speaks volumes about the type of person she was and here reverence for natures creatures. She was passionate in her love for animals...and over the years, both during my childhood and my later years, it was quite common to find many animals at mom's house in various states of healing from one affliction or another. Just in case you think I'm kidding, let me tell you that you should have been there the night a common housefly inadvertantly got trapped on the surface of a sink full of soapy dishwater. Mom, ever the rescuer...gently spoons the housefly out of the sink...lays a paper towel on the kitchen counter, and deposits the wet little critter on the towel to recompose itself and dry off. All true. It just shows you how important life was to her. There are so many stories...a lifetimes' worth of them...some sad, some totally funny,...but all of them true and accurate pictures of this woman who was my mother. I know in time the wound will hurt less. The tears will become less frequent as acceptance takes hold of her passing...but as long as these stories and other wonderful memories exist in my heart, then I know mom is right here with me. I'll close by saying here what I told my stricken mother as she lay moments from death in that hospital room. When the life support machines were at last disconnected to allow her to slip from us with dignity as per her wishes, we all took a brief moment to touch her one last time and kiss her goodbye. When it came my turn, I stoked her hand, bent over and gently kissed my dear, dying mother goodbye on her forehead and told her, "I love you Mom...and I'll see you again someday soon". I know in my heart I will. In the meantime, she lives in all of our hearts and as long as we have her memories with us, she will remain with us. Goodbye Mom. I love you. I miss you. ..and I'll see you soon.Your loving son...-Shawn
My Mom & Dad 2005
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